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Unveiling The Universe

November 22, 2012

You like it… me too!  (Old people like me like grandiose.)  We [I'm one of them now] had to pay big bucks to a fancy ad agency for that line.

I am happy–got a grant; nothing big–just a sub-contract to study the charge of odd numbers.

Some months ago I got a chance to go to a talk, which is where I got the title from.  The out-of-town speaker spoke eloquently about stuff related to smoking them out of a dark interior with the help of large quantities of enriched p-values.  I don’t ask questions; I don’t like making a fool of myself in front of others.

After the lecture and the correlated-blabbering that follows, I approached the above mentioned person, pretending to offer any help he may need in gathering his things as he prepared to leave, and asked with an adequate amount of seriousness painted on my face:

Is God particle in the Platonic heaven?

What happened next was along the expected lines: if you don’t disappear by the time I look away, then I’ll have your head of the state throw you in that reactor that’s in the news lately.  Like any other sensible person, I ran faster than the last time I really ran–many years ago when me and my sister had to run from a street dog determined to eat us alive.

What I don’t like about stories is that they don’t end.  Few days ago I got a letter.  It seems there is a schism between man-made math and god-made physics.  In brief, God finds man unreasonable.  Physicists who have been all too happy to get laid by the military these past few decades are preparing for the eventuality of people realizing that neither the war of Mahabharata nor that of Ramayana was about people (just in case you are wondering what Dharma Raju was fighting for: it’s exactly like banksters gambling and losing what they don’t have and then we die so that they can continue gambling), and the inevitable loss of present funding from the department of defense.  (Your heart will bleed if I tell you how many particle physicists deserted physics to far off strange biology and weird neuroscience looking for a decent meal.)  With foresight, the physicists are pivoting their pitch to peace (for the turbulent times ahead with no military; only peace-keepers).

Now I get to see if we conceptualize numbers as things with charges (kind of like electrons), then they will do something with it.  I know–when I first read, I was like wtf.  But I need money.

4 is a number, an even number.  There are tons of even numbers; 10 is one.  I have no idea what I’m doing…  Peace, peace, bringing-together.

4 + 10 = 14

Even number again.

even + even = even

even + odd = odd

odd + even = odd

odd + odd = even

I heard something along the lines of:

Clarity is admissible as material evidence of understanding.

but this

1 + 2 = 3

math is way below my dignity as an educated person.

There are two boxes on either side of me with two balls (even, odd) in each one of the two boxes.  I put two balls (one from each box) in your hat:

even, even

even, odd

odd, even

odd, odd

You find, when you look, one:

even

odd

odd

even

This is odd!  We managed to put the things on the diagonal

even, even

odd, odd

in one box (even) and the off-diagonal ones

even, odd

odd, even

into another box (odd).

You have no idea what this means: computational neuroscience went into clinical depression upon learning that one Marvin Minsky proved that neurons and synapses in between them are not good enough to draw an oval around (0, 0) and (1, 1) and another around (1, 0) and (0, 1) without looking like India and Pakistan (before Bangladesh).  So, now brains can be used to understand things?

In any case I figured it all out.

In the beginning, John forgot a word.  There were two words: on-diagonals, off-diagonals.  Then there was time of course.  These two original learned races made peace and lived happily on Lineland as lustrous points.  With time came marriages, families, kids, etc. all of which means more space.  So they took two lines (one horizontal and one vertical; both had on, off tattoos) and built a plane for four points:

(on, on)

(on, off)

(off, on)

(off, off)

One good news is that back in the day people made babies; not races.  So we still have two races:

on

off

Telling a person’s race is as easy as adding.  If your parents are both even, then you are even; if only one is odd, then you’re odd.  If one of your parents starts acting odd, then you’ll be listed even in the census no matter how odd it all looks.

So this

2 + 2 = 4

2 + 3 = 5

3 + 2 = 5

3 + 3 = 6

is the Da Vinci code that all the Indian novelists are copying with gay abandon.

What are you going to do when the funding-agency calls for deliverables (now that you blew the grant money in seedy bars)?

I don’t know.  I’ll try something like 2 is positively charged, 3 is negatively charged, and please don’t ask me any more questions: electrocution scares me.

It’s not going to work.

What if I pad it:

positive x positive = positive

positive x negative = negative

negative x positive = negative

negative x negative = positive

You need something more: confusion (to complement simple).  You see, it’s like beauty; but for that sprinkling of outliers, a beautiful face is just an average face.  This is why you need to read science magazines like Nature regularly.

How about

A Diagonal Bridge from Math to Physics

We have {even, odd} adding one another on one side; {pos., neg.} multiplying on the other.

Our findings suggest

f (even) = pos.

f (odd) = neg.

and save some

Petites Madeleines #1

f (even + even) = f (even) x f (even)

f (even) = pos. x pos.

pos. = pos.

Petites Madeleines #2

f (even + odd) = f (even) x f (odd)

f (odd) = pos. x neg.

neg. = neg.

Petites Madeleines #3

 f (odd + even) = f (odd) x f (even)

f (odd) = neg. x pos.

neg. = neg.

Petites Madeleines #4

f (odd + odd) = f (odd) x f (odd)

f (even) = pos. x pos.

 pos. = pos.

for later.  And that brings us to the yellow brick road to algebraic category (Conceptual Mathematics; Exercise 2 on page 66).

It might work–if only you had a conclusion.

How about

(same, same) -> same

(same, different) -> different

(different, same) -> different

(different, different) -> same

I have to really go now, bye!

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